


Conviction

by evilRevan



Series: True Fallout [2]
Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Comfort, Confliction, F/M, Fallout 4 Spoilers, Hurt, Late game spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-28
Updated: 2015-12-28
Packaged: 2018-05-09 23:10:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5559281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evilRevan/pseuds/evilRevan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Monster. That was what she had given birth to. A monster with her eyes led the Commonwealth's most hated organization, stealing people from their homes and replacing them with brainwashed replicas of themselves. It was sick. It was twisted. And Anari wished she didn't have to look the monster in the eyes, regret and betrayal lingering in the pit of her stomach as she listened to everything he said to her. </p><p>'There is no hope for the commonwealth. The cost they paid was too great.'</p><p>Her sweet baby boy was gone. But at least she didn't have to face him alone this time around. She had Hancock with her to face her demons. To see the evil she bore. Part of her wish she hadn't. But in the end, it was the right decision.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Conviction

The battle of Bunker Hill was supposed to be simple. Retrieving four fugitive Synths hidden away underneath the town, protected by the Railroad ready to be moved to a safe haven far from the historical site. No one was supposed to know. The Institute’s sources predicted they would storm in, take out any resistance and capture any civilians who had seen their troops storm in. What they didn’t plan on was a leak.

_Anari._

Once released from the Institute Anari made a beeline to the Railroad’s headquarters, storming in with a purpose- a sense of _justice_ coursing through the young woman’s veins. She told them about the attack, about their plans to re-acquisition their stolen synths back from the railroad. Fire sparked through the members, laser rifles in hand ready and determined to keep their robotic friends safe from the brainwashing institute’s clutches.

The institute’s carefully laid out plan crumbled to pieces as their army lost the element of surprise. Smoking bits and pieces of metal scattered across the battlefield- agents of the railroad cheering as loud as their lungs could bear it.

The sole-survivor stayed only for a few moments, a deep seeded pain blossoming in the pit of her stomach over what was to come after. Someone would need to explain. And as the only remaining survivor… it was _her_ job to report in.

Spinning on her heels, Anari prepared herself. Dark eye lids wound shut, chest shallowly expanding in and out- the smell of smoking rubble muddling the stench of sweat and grime covering every inch of exposed tanned skin. A dagger struck deep, piercing the still beating heart as scenarios passed through the woman’s head. There was no way around it. She would have to face her son, lie to him, and fake a smile… all the while trying to make him see the errors of his ways. It was unlikely to happen…. but Anari had made miracles happen before. Why not this?

“Hey,” A raspy voice called out through the din, a hand lightly touching her armored shoulder. 

Hardened grey eyes focused on the voice. A ghoul dressed up in a ridiculous red coat and Tricorn stood beside her, black eyes clouded with concern… and something else. 

Rough disfigured fingers tightened around the shoulder, “You don’t gotta go. You know that?” Anari inhaled sharply. Nothing was forcing her to do this. There was an easy way out to this madness: run away. Run far from the commonwealth as possible. Start a new life… leave behind the pain, the sadness, the memories… No one would judge the decision. People would understand if they knew. But they didn’t.

Smooth fingers laced together with rough scarred skinned fingers, the contrasting feeling of their skins pressed together reminded her what she was fighting for. She was fighting to restore order… to restore peace and freedom beaten and battered around by the institute… and other smaller groups praying upon innocent bystanders. No. There was no easy way out of this.

Lifting the hand up Anari placed a gentle kiss onto the skin so different from her own. “I need to, Hancock. He is my _son_. I have to try and see if I can’t change his mind.”

Black eyes stared at her hard, searching for something. What Hancock searched for Anari never did know… but she knew he wasn’t going to let her walk straight into the fire for a second time. When she came back from meeting her son the first time it had some... negative side effects. Angry, betrayed, anguish… she felt it all after seeing her son who wasn’t ten years old like she thought he was, but instead an old man of at least sixty staring at her with cold grey eyes. The words he said caused her physical pain. Mental pain. Everything inside her very being wanted her to yell and scream, to deny what fate handed to her on a soot encrusted plate.

“You’re dead set on this?” Anari’s silence was all that was needed. A deep sigh escaped from between his lipless mouth, a free hand pushing the worn Tricorn back into place atop his hairless head.

“Don’t think about leaving me behind for this. You’re stuck with this mug, remember?” There was an edge in his voice, a finality dripping from his deep raspy voice. He wouldn’t budge. And while Anari felt terrible for dragging him through the mire that was her family, he was apart of her family now. A warped metal ring crafted out of scrap metal, crude and imperfect rested on her ring finger. Her old wedding band long since discarded in favor of her new life here in the commonwealth. There was no shame or guilt clouding her mind when she said yes to Hancock, not then and certainty not now.

Grey eyes steeled themselves. “Alright let’s head to the CIT building… that is where I am supposed to meet up.” The shuffling of metal and fabric was all she heard behind her, Hancock ready and prepared to follow her into the lion’s den. Or  _Deathclaw’s_ den.

Traveling from Bunker Hill to the old ruined CIT building proved uneventful. The skirmish at the historical site scared away most raiders, scattering them to whatever hole they crawled out- no doubt thanks to the ventibirds which had accompanied the insitute's ground forces. Warped smoking metal was all that was left of them now. Easy picking for scavengers looking to sell some junk for food and supplies. Maybe get a new gun at one of the shops if they found something worthwhile.

Deep twisted death threats greeted them inside the ruined building, super mutants being the only creatures unafraid of battle which had recently took place. They covered every vantage point in the building, swarming the halls like flies on a dead carcass. But they were predictable. Anger them enough and they’d come swinging with their makeshift weapons- easy pickings with one placed a bullet right between the eyes. The smell of blood tinged with sweat provided Anari a sweet escape for the confrontation to come, a distraction fueled by years of training before being fired, shoved into a marriage with Nate, and being forced to have sex with a man she didn’t love just for the sake of having a child…

The sole-survivor steadied her scope on one of the large grotesque looking super mutants barreling towards her. She breathed and pulled the trigger. Blood and brains blew out the back of his head, a nauseating smell emanating from the lifeless body as it slumped over, color draining from its sickly green skin. Like clockwork she and Hancock dispatched the rest of them. Hancock in the thick of it with his shotgun and knives with Anari providing cover with her sniper rifle and revolver.

When the last mutant fell everything came flooding back. Justice and paternal instinct struggled inside her skull, both sides whispering to her what was _right_ and  _what_ was wrong. Scaling the stairs up to the roof she tried to quell the storm bubbling inside her stomach. Worried black eyes watched her, not convinced she was quite alright. Perhaps he was right; she didn’t have a poker face.

“Mother.” A man with grey in his hair and beard greeted her once she reached the roof, grey eyes fixed on her in calculated delight. 

Anari swallowed, “Son.” She didn’t turn around when the sound of boots shuffling behind her. Or the curse echoing inside her eardrums. Hancock noticed the resemblance. The shape and eye color of Shawn’s eyes… his chin, strong squarish jaw…. it was all her. Anari couldn’t deny the facts staring her right in the face.

This was her _son_. This was _Shawn_.

Her sixty year old son stared out towards the horizon, eyeing the desolate wasteland stretching out as far as the eye could see. Hard lines marred his face, lips twisting into a disgusted frown.

_There is no hope for the commonwealth. The cost they paid was too great._

There was no empathy in his voice when he spoke. No light in his grey eyes. Everyone who had struggled in to meet ends meet day after day- he didn’t care about them. All of them, down to the infants born into this world were just numbers on a chalkboard- guinea pigs to be used an abused by the Institute. They were the failures of mankind. _Every single one of them_.

“It isn’t so bad here, Shawn. Everyone here lives the best they can, they try day after day to survive. Can you truly call that helpless?” Anari choked back a sob. Not wanting her baby or Hancock to know how horrible she felt for allowing the Institute to take her son away from her, to twist him into a person who couldn’t tell just how messed up he truly was. Anyone with a heart and compassion wouldn’t just toss all these people aside. They would give them a chance at a better life. Betterment of mankind be _damned_.

Shawn, her sweet little baby boy who cried and demanded her attention every waking moment of the day, dismissed the lifestyle of those below. The word tainted came up. A sickening feeling arose in Anari’s stomach as the conversation progressed… 

And then the blow came.

Gloved hands clasp together behind the man’s back, rigid and straight as humanly possible. “If something should have happened to me as an infant, the institute wanted a backup. Someone genetically similar to the donor in question,” His eyes shot towards her, a faint smile on his face. “That was you. They kept you in cryo to keep your genetic code intact just in case. But as you can see I lived.” The feeling of wanting to vomit grew stronger with every passing second. “When I took leadership of the Institute I knew you were inside Vault 111. I knew for years to be precise. But you were kept on ice. After sixty years it seemed silly to keep you inside, so I released you.”

Grey eyes widened just as a feral sounding growl broke through the silence. “I-it was you?” Disbelief floated in the acidic air, twisting and pulling as the current shifted on a whim.

Either blissfully unaware or simply ignoring her stunned horrified expression Shawn continued without missing a beat, “Yes I did. I did it as a little experiment. I wanted to see if the commonwealth would change you, would you survive, and more importantly,” Shawn hesitated for just a second, “If you would come and find me.” More daggers dug into her flesh when his sorrowful voice rang inside her skull, the first expression of true emotion breaking through the surface. It didn’t last long as his expression changed, controlled joy washing away any sense of humanity left in him.

“Seeing you now, standing before me… I know the answer now.” Warmth lit up behind his grey eyes. Inviting. Sweet. _Gentle_. A strangled sob came crashing through. 

Shaking in place she tried to control herself… but failed. “Shawn…” Anari barely recognized her voice as it came out in a strangled hoarse whisper- desperate for her sweet innocent baby boy to come back into her arms. Safe and sound.

“This isn’t right. Shawn…. don’t you see the institute is wrong? Don’t you see what they’ve done to you?”

The faint smile on his dark lips faded. His wrinkled brow grew more pronounced as his eyebrows furrowed together- disappointment mirrored upon his aged features. “Mother, don’t you see? The institute is what mankind needs- to redefine and better mankind. What happened with father was regrettable, I admit. But I see now they did me a favor by taking me out of the vault. They gave me the opportunity to be apart of something greater than myself. ”

Words became a tangled mess inside her throat, screams locked away under the mess- unable to come out. Anari saw a flash of red dart in front of her, a furious snarl ripping through the air like lightning striking sun parched earth.

“Do you have any idea what she has _sacrificed_ to find your sorry fucking excuse of an ass?” Grey eyes stared at the figure separating her from her son’s gaze, scarred hands balled into tight fists- the dull skin stretching taunt across the knuckles ready and willing to collide with flesh and bone. Itching to do some damage. The sad thing was Anari almost wanted John to. But fear for his wellbeing rushed to the forefront, her hands stretched outwards pulling him back from Shawn and towards her body where she could ensure his safety. Hancock didn’t budge and inch. 

Fingers tugged at the red frock harder, desperate to dislodge the man from his position. Panic set in soon after when he still didn’t move. “ _John_ -” Hancock cut her off before she could begin, black eyes darting towards her face for a split second, determination and fury flickering just beneath their murky depths. “I’ve been real  _patient_.” A flash of white teeth poked out from the snarl snaking its way onto his lipless mouth, black eyes snapping back towards the source of her distress. _Shawn_. 

The older man stood straighter if it was even possible. Shawn’s eyes shifted towards the lithe Ghoul standing before him, acting as if he had just noticed his presence and hadn’t noticed him standing behind his mother- silently seething as their conversation drew on. “I’ve been real patient, listening to all the shit coming out of your fucking mouth,” From behind Anari inhaled sharply, knowing there was bound to be a confrontation soon… There was no way to prevent it. 

“Normally I’d say this was none of my business and watch from the sidelines. But  _kid_ ,” Venom leaked out from every word, infecting the air they breathed until there was a very discernible bite nipping inside her chest. “You’ve made this shit  _my_ business.” If Shawn was scared he didn’t show it. Sharp calculating eyes regarded him indifferently, scanning his form with precise accuracy, grey eyes pausing briefly at main arteries.

“An experiment?” Hancock’s voice rose in volume, arms outstretched to either side of him in pure disgust, “She ain’t no pet project for you to fuck with. She is your mother fucking _flesh_ and _blood_ , you little _shit_. You don’t have the god damned _right_ to play _god_  for your sick and twisted mad scientist experiments.” Another deep growl rippled inside his chest. Anari felt a shiver run up her spine.

Shawn’s lack of a response was unnerving to say the least. He stood perfectly still, lazily looking at Hancock as if the man wasn’t as big as a threat Anari knew he was when provoked. Hancock noticed the lack of attention. The disinterest in his body posture and in his eyes. “Ain’t gonna listen? Fine. Maybe this will wake your fucking ass up: keep screwing with Anari and **_nothing_** , not even you being her son is going to stop me from digging a knife through your _god_. _Damn_. _Ribcage_.” In that moment a switch had flipped in Shawn, hardened grey eyes pierced though Hancock- daggers practically shooting from his stormy grey eyes. He had heard the warning clear as day. And with it… something clicked inside his mysterious head.

“Mother,” eyes glanced down at her ring finger, noticing a warped metal band wrapped around the finger. The very same one Hancock bore on his hand. They were imperfect and crude but the significance wasn’t lost in the craftsmanship. The young woman watched as her son’s face grew darker, lips pursed together in thought. “I see the stress has gotten to you since you were released from cryogenic sleep. You will need to be decontaminated once we get back to the institute, the wasteland’s diseased should be cleansed from you- to ensure your health. Of course.” The middle aged man held his tongue but the accusations, the disapproval… disgust. It was all there hidden under a polite tongue carefully cultivated through political use and etiquette. Anari knew what he was implying. And if she knew, Hancock knew.

A split second was all the time she had before Hancock blew. The coil was sprung as he became absolutely livid, a fist raised and poised to punch her son right in the teeth. Blood roared in her ears as she grabbed his arm, using both hands to pull it down before the damage could be done. As much as she wanted to punch her son, the son lost to the institute's machinations, she couldn't. She would be forgiven surely. But Hancock? He was bound to be killed on sight or worse.

“It’s a ticking time bomb. Twisted and worthless due to an over exposure of rads, mutating his genetic code to be feasibly obsolete. The ghoul’s makeup makes it s _terile_ , mother. _It_ can’t help mankind.” Twisting sharply at his observations Anari sharply rounded, taking several steps towards her son until she could see the speckling of black and grey in his beard, the crows feet marring the corners of his eyes, and the burning scorching smell of medicine mixed with oil assaulting her senses like a warzone.

A dirty bloodied finger jabbed Shawn in the ribs, “I know you are my son,” She began, “But you don’t have a damned right to tell me who to love, _Shawn_. You threw me into this mess, you used kellogg even though you knew what he did, you-… you used me as a fucking guinea pig!” The words flew out faster than she could process them, searing pain lighting her limbs on fire as everything she felt since meeting him came tumbling out like a waterfall. 

“I don’t give a damn about the institute, _son_.” She spat the organizations name. A foul tasting flavor resided on her taste buds even after she tried to rid her mouth of the corrupted creation’s name. “I don’t care. This place, the commonwealth is my home, don’t you understand? And this,” light shined off the metallic band wrapped around her ring finger, “is me moving on. _Living._  I regret a lot of things, honey. But this I don’t regret. I don’t give two shits what you think about us. I don’t care. But don’t you fucking dare, after keeping me in ice for sixty years, come in and ruin everything I’ve built in such a short time.” Her ferocity came in waves, scaring the shit out of her as her grey eyes hardened to a fine edge, glaring daggers at her son’s head- practically begging him to give her a reason to allow Hancock to shove a knife between his ribs, puncturing his heart in one fluid motion. He was her son. But he was a monster she bore and as such, had to be put down if he failed to see reason. Justice demanded he and everyone else in the institute paid for the crimes they committed upon the populous.

Anari watched with morbid fascination as her son staggered a few steps away- her finger touching nothing but air. “This… is not the time for a discussion for this, mother. There is a meeting to be had, I expect you to be there. Perhaps there… you might change your mind.” A flash of blue light crashed onto the figure of her son, engulfing him in the warm rays of the teleporter, _safe_ and sound inside the institute’s walls.

When the light faded her strength faded with it. The rush of adrenaline flooded out of her body, legs buckling underneath in a prompt fashion. Part of her expected to feel the hard stone dig into her body, sharp stones rending her leather armor to bits and pieces. But the pain never came. 

Black eyes and warmth greeted Anari when everything came to, a smug cocksure grin plastered on his face despite everything that had happened. The look on his face convinced her she had chosen the right thing. No matter what Anari was going to fight the institute tooth and nail. Her son had died in that cryo tank, her previous husband still holding the precious little bundle of joy in his lifeless arms. That was the lie. But it held a grain of truth.

“I’m beginning to think firecracker suits you pretty well after that show.” The light hearted joke brought a smile to her face. It was his his way or trying to comfort after the whirlwind of shit flung in her face.  

Gripping the front of his coat she brought him closer, pressing her mouth against his scarred ridged mouth, releasing a sigh of delight when the familiar taste of berries and smoke spread across her tongue. Pulling back Anari gazed at Hancock lovingly, her stomach doing flips as everything screamed at her this was where she belonged. Despite the pain and the struggles she had found a new life under the ashes of the old.

And Anari was eager to firmly hold onto this new life. 

“I love you, _John_.” She didn’t allow him to respond, simply pulling him back in for another kiss, tongues warring against another in a greedy passionate display. Fingers gripped the front of his frock tighter. Anari wouldn’t let him go. Wouldn’t trade him for another man; one capable of giving her children or being the same species as her. She wanted John. And the institute be _damned_ if they got in the way of that.

**Author's Note:**

> When I met Shawn on the top of the CIT building I had Hancock with me at the time and once again, I was deeply disappointed when he didn't comment on the shit Shawn told my girl. If anything- Hancock would have gotten up in the man's face, son or not, and given him a few choice words of his own. Thus, the creation of this little fic. 
> 
> Rewrote some of the conversation to suit the situation and the addition of Hancock. Enjoy.


End file.
